Yayyy photoshop. :) I made it for my LJ. If anyone wants to add me there, my username is :sabotaged]]>
I've been having writer's block, and no time
to write whatsoever. But the good news is the nightmare that is Calculus is
over. I just walked out of my final exam. I think I pulled out a high C, and
although it's not too amazing, I was just worried about passing. But it's
over and I'm so tired. I've been averaging 25 hours of sleep a week, and having
math nightmares >_o. I'm going to go take a nap though. I don't have
internet 24/7 though. I'll try to be on a bit more now that I'm finally on
break. I miss you all so much. But anyway, this standalone was written for LJ
again, and the prompt was "The seven deadly sins" and I chose wrath. It's slash. Although
everything is implied, and the characters never even actually touch. I
hope you all like it. Miss you like crazy.
x---Vee
Title: Pompeii
Rating: R
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Word Count: 1,202
Summary: You always hurt the ones you love most, whether intentional or not.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Author's Note: It would be incredibly wonderful if you could take a moment and listen to Say Something, by LAPUSH which can be found here at their Purevolume page. This is loosely based on the lyrics, and on the over all feel of the song. Thank you to anyone who reads. Con-crit welcomed and appreciated.
Warnings: possibly character death, sadness, it depends on how you view things
Sin or Virtue: Wrath
And if you’re out there just say something.
Say everything is all right.
---
It was utterly pointless, foolish even, and yet Frank found himself driving down the worn road that led to Lake Schicksal, to the past he found so difficult to let go. The weather was harsh and unforgiving, and for that he was thankful; it kept his mind off of the inevitable. Today would be the same as every other Saturday. Despite the painful thought, he let a small smirk form on his face. Who was he to expect anything different? He would be forever stuck in the same rut. Gerard had made sure of that.
The sky continued to darken as the rain fell harder, and Frank's mind began to wander. It was physically painful to endure his weekly routine; sharp pains would ripple though his torso when he would think about what had transpired about a year ago. It was a reminder of his betrayal and a curse that he knew he deserved. He had been the one, after all, that had been unfaithful. Frank was the one that had caused this impasse. And he couldn't place blame on Gerard at all. It had always been in Gerard's nature to hold a grudge.
Every week was always the same. Every Saturday, Frank would drive down to the lake house that they used to live in together; the aging house that held his memories of their embraces and whispers of affection. He would see Gerard, and he would be ignored. Gerard would sit on the dock, sketching something, or just staring out into the calm water, devoid of emotion. That was what hurt Frank the most; the fact that he'd stripped Gerard of all feeling. He was still the same person that Frank knew and yet he was gone. He'd been gone ever since the night he'd told Frank to leave.
So now they shared in this emptiness. And despite Frank's attempts to feel whole again, to try to mend all the wrongs he'd caused by simply asking Gerard for forgiveness, Gerard would ignore him. He hadn't uttered a single word to Frank since that night, though his silence spoke volumes. Every Saturday Frank would drive to face his rejection. And every Saturday Gerard would deliver it.
Frank turned on to a small road and shivered as the house came into view. The house wasn’t unlike its owners now, frail and worn with time. It just magnified the point that he wasn’t there to fix it. Broken shingles graced the yard with their disarray, and each one left a mark on Frank’s conscience. It was his fault. It would always be his fault.
The rain began to lessen, but the sky grew darker. Frank let the rhythm of the rain envelop him after he parked the car in the driveway, taking the time necessary to work up his nerve. Seeing the house was nothing compared to this next part. He would see Gerard, his Gerard, and Gerard would act as though he didn’t exist. Sometimes Frank would yell and sometimes he would just quietly wait for Gerard to turn around, for any sign of recognition. But he could never touch him. They no longer had that familiarity.
Frank pulled his hood up as he got out of his car, and began to look around the desolate area that surrounded the house. He could see Gerard off in the distance, standing on the dock and looking directly at him for the first time in months. Just the sight of Gerard in a plain t-shirt, oblivious to the downpour, and a hint of emotion on his face, was so bizarre. Today was different.
He started to make his way over to him, careful to never let his eyes leave his former lover; this was too surreal. For all the times that he wished for acknowledgement, for all the times he’d hoped that he’d be able to stare into Gerard’s warm eyes again, he’d never thought about what would happen after. He'd imagined, making plans in his head, but the second this happened all previous thoughts had disintegrated.
“Gerard…” Frank whispered breathlessly. The walk from his vehicle to the dock seemed insignificant now, and the only traces of it were Frank’s numb fingers. Contrary to the cold weather he couldn’t help but feel hopeful, if anything. Today was different after all.
“Frank.”
All Frank wanted to do was to close the gap that was between them, to hold Gerard, but something kept him from it. So he stood there, in the cold rain and looked at Gerard. He felt another small smile form on his face, the first genuine one in months. Despite everything, it was nice. Gerard looked just as he remembered him, right down to the worn leather jacket that wouldn’t leave his sight, his hair ruffled, pale skin.
“Listen. I—”
Gerard held up his hand and shook his head. It was obvious he’d been expecting this. He just gave Frank a serene look, and looked as though he was trying to gather his thoughts.
“Look. I want you to know, that you don’t have to do this. You can walk away.”
“Gerard? What are you talking about?”
“Stop caring, Frank. I don’t want to see you like this. Please… you’re hurting yourself.”
At this point, Frank wanted shake Gerard until he said something that made sense. His throat grew hot and he had the urge to say something, anything. Gerard’s voice was a note of finality, crushing any hopes he had. He suddenly felt dizzy.
“Gerard I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. Please…” Frank stumbled forward, arm outreached, mind cloudy.
“Frank, please. I don’t want it to happen like this."
Gerard evaded him, stepping towards the end of the dock. The rain began to fall harder, filling the space with noise; deafening. Frank was grateful; it gave him some excuse, some cover to pretend, if only for himself, that his eyes weren't stinging because of this too-painful moment.
“What… are you talking about?”
Frank stood there, the pain ripping through him with ease, his knees weakening. Yet all the while, Gerard stood there calm, though the slight urgency in his voice hinted he felt otherwise.
“I died, Frank. One year ago today, I shot myself. You know this. But please know there isn’t a day I don’t regret it.”
Frank blinked several times, trying to process everything. He tried to force a smile, and shook his head.
“Gerard, stop. Come on, we can talk about this.”
“No. We can’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to happen like this.”
The rain began to plummet, and Gerard kept on walking back off the dock, the mist surrounding him. He began to fade away, a pleading look on his face.
“Gerard. No!”
Frank’s body sprung out of immobility, and he started to run towards Gerard, tears freely flowing. This was wrong, this was all wrong. Today was supposed to be different.
He was hardly aware of the icy cold water that suddenly surrounded him. It was numbing, and it was safe. The sharp pains weren’t there any longer. It no longer hurt to breathe.
“I’ll see you again, Frank. Maybe a Sunday. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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I wrote this for a fanfiction contest on LJ. It’s SLASH, so if you don’t feel comfortable with that, don’t read it and please don’t leave any mean comments. The contest prompt was just to write about a fairy tale, and this is what I came up with.
ocelot_daemon and to anyone that reads :].Kudos if you know what song the title and LJ cut is from. My whole entire life seems like it's been flipped upside down. Long story short, I barely failed my Pre-Cal college class, and I havd to take the CLEP exam to get my credit hours. So I've been studying foreeeever.
I took the exam, and got a 49. T___T it's out of a scale of 80 and I needed a 50 for my credit hours and I got a freaking 49. But the head of the math department is going to see if they can curve it so I get my credits. But we're waiting on him and I've been biting my nails for the past few days.
I got forcibly dragged to the beach. In case you don't know I L O A T H E the beach. It was simply disgusting. I stayed inside the whole entire time because I'm a vampire now. R A W R,
Read Twilight in a day, New Moon in 9 hours.. YAY SUPER NERD~! Tina and Irah why didn't you force me to read it sooner?! I L OV E L O V E the books more than Harry Potter and any other books. I know why you guys like them so much now ;)
My Laptop DIEDDDD. Literally DIED. It has no internet and it's barely turning on. I'm on the home computer but I can't come on as much here because people stare over my shoulder and it's fucking creepy. And that's the reason I'm not on MSN or Gmail chat anymore. I'm going to Best Buy as soon as possible because it needs to get fixed. Or else.
If the whole Math thing falls through I'm taking a fucking deserves break. It's been non-stop with school lately. I might visit some family up north, and possibly see about going to Canada. YAYYY Lacey Love *hugs*. And visiting Boston, maybe swing by Kay as well? And Kasey you're not too far from meee.
In short. I'm not dead. I love you all terribly. I've been dying without the internet. I miss you all so much. I hope you can forgive my flaky-ness lately.
♥♥♥
love and hugs from Texas.
xoxo---Vee
Rating: overall R
POV: Third, Frank centric
Summary: When one crosses the boundaries between life and death, little can be done to avoid the consequences.
Disclaimer: I lie, so very much.
Author Notes: [AU] Set in 2036. Frank is 19, Gerard 23. Somewhat based on The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer. Con-crit welcome. Sorry I have tendencies to make a million first chapters...
Warnings: Character death, violence, supernatural occurrences
Chapter 1
He’d seen grass once. He was only four at the time, and his mother had taken him out of the city with the simple statement of “it’ll be a nice change of pace dear.” She died five days later. Although the time that he had spent there with her, was almost indescribable, and he’d often revisit that outing with her in his dreams. The sickly sweet smell that had intoxicated him, his mother’s smile as he had gathered some weeds for her. She had called them flowers, but he knew that they were weeds. It was a happy memory, one of the very few he had.
Frank glanced up at the skyline as the sun began to rise. The sky was red today, which meant that it was probably pesticides that were spilling from the factories that were sprawled across Hektor. Frank had been born here, raised here, and planned to die here. Hektor was all that he knew. The city was made of steel, fiberglass, concrete, and little else. It was harsh, sleek, and unforgiving. Frank had been reminded of the later as he peered down at his lip, and let his fingers linger on a fresh cut that that was on it. It was still bleeding.
He smiled and let out a small chuckle, trying to keep his true feelings hidden inside, as he reached in his pocket, and pulled out a cigarette, one of his last. He sat on the corner of Cadaver and Necromancer, and quietly enjoyed his cigarette while his eyes followed the busy residents passing by him. The streets of Hektor were named oddly, somewhere down the line someone had decided that it would be more efficient to name the streets according to the businesses that lined them. If that plan had gone accordingly, Cadaver and Necromancer would be filled with fortunetellers, and other dreary mystical services. It wasn’t, instead it was it was filled with coffee shops and newspaper stands. Frank looked down at his tattered shoes, and tried to ignore the dull hunger ache that he felt as a baker walked past with fresh loaves bread.
Frank took a small drag and looked up at the sky, the red pluming and engulfing the grey, and the sunlight only enhancing the spectacle. He smiled again, everyone in Hektor knew that they were doomed to self destruction. Between pollution, overpopulation, poverty, and disease nobody had a long life span. And yet they all stayed, Hektor had a magnetic hold on all of its residents.
It probably wasn’t the best idea, to smoke when he already felt out of breath. He’d felt out of breath for a while though. Like he was drowning, only with air. He was alone in this city. Completely and utterly alone. He had been ecstatic when he was finally free of the orphanage; it was a hell hole anyway. They had done medical experiments on them, forced them to do vile jobs, and if any of the orphans had shown defiance, they could be killed without a passing glance. Being a ward of the state was almost a death sentence, few made it to eighteen, and if they did they were thrown out on the street with just the clothes on their back and a shred of sanity. So he sat there, and maybe he had a little more than a shred of sanity, but only a little. He felt empty, and smiled at the fact how one could be so alone in a city filled to the brim with people.
He flicked his cigarette to the side, and started running a finger through a hole in his pants. People walked by, some young starry-eyed students, some business men, some homeless people. Frank didn’t like the term homeless, maybe it was because it could be applied to him. He’d like to think that he was the city, that he belonged to the city, because that’s all he had known since his mother died. He spent his nights in whatever place he could find, and he’d done things he wasn’t proud of. But he was alive, even if he didn’t see a reason to be.
He stood up, running his fingers through his dark hair, and took a shaky breath. He decided that today would be the day. Today would be the end. He started walking through the streets, uncaring when he’d bump into citizens. If this was any other day he’d be more careful. If you got on someone’s bad side here there’d be hell to pay. You never knew who was connected to who, to survive you just kept your head down, and hoped that you didn’t look at someone the wrong way. But today, he had no reason to fear. They couldn’t take away what he already was going to.
He made it to
“Aw fuck, sorry!” The young girl stood up and moved out of the way as she started blushing furiously, while her boyfriend gave Frank a look of distain. Frank just shook his head, and mumbled something that resembled an apology, and kept on walking up the stairs. He felt a sharp pain in his heart as he did; he’d never had a kiss.
He made it to the roof a few minutes later. The building was one of the tallest in this neighborhood. He took a deep breath, taking in the polluted air, and admired the cityscape for a few minutes. Hektor was ugly, the buildings were placed awkwardly, the streets dirty, the citizens cruel. And yet it was beautiful to him. The harsh edges and dark shadows sometimes were better ways to describe him better than any poet ever could.
He walked across the roof of the building; the quiet surrounded him eerily as he broke out of the trance he had been in. He took a few tentative steps as he neared the edge of the roof. He saw the same street that he had been sleeping on the last few days, the grime that covered it, and the people that swept past it without another glance. He was a good distance up. It would be just enough.
He patted his pockets once more, taking in shaky breaths. He’d found his prize, his last cigarette. It was bent, almost broken, but it would have to do. Fumbling he lit the cigarette, and took in a long drag, coughing while doing so. Moving a few feet forward, he was on the ledge of the building; he looked forward instead of down.
He thought of that memory of his mother. They way she had held his hand as they walked through the grass, and how soft the grass felt, and how sharp the city was.
One last breath, and then he threw his cigarette down the edge of the building.
He jumped.
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